You were meant to fly. So fly.

“Sweetheart, don’t let anyone put you in a cage and clip your wings. You were meant to fly. So fly.”

This sage advice was gifted to me by my Dad during one of the darkest times of my life. Years ago I found myself in the midst of an abusive relationship. Emotional. Physical. Psychological. And Sexual. One moment I was getting swept off my feet and falling in love, and a moment later that same man I loved was trying to push me out of a moving car. I was a confident young woman rising through the ranks of Corporate America and in a blink of an eye I became meek, filled with fear and began believing that I was the undeserving unworthy soul he titled me.

I remember feeling as though I was standing in quick sand. Early on I felt something was off, sensed manipulation and even began seeing glimpses of abusive behavior behind “romantic gestures”. I saw it, I felt it and yet I couldn’t stop it. I just kept sinking deeper into the sand until I lost…me.

How could a young woman so strong and confident find herself in an abusive relationship?

On the outside I was strong and confident. On the inside I was hurt, angry, lonely, sad; still carrying feelings of abandonment from my Dad “leaving me”. I desperately wanted to cover up all those feelings and fill the empty space inside me with love. I remember just wanting to feel loved. And yet, at the same time I only knew “physical love” – attention, sex, affection, words of affirmation, external acknowledgement and all the fancy things in life. I became addicted to the pursuit of experiencing this physical love in order to fill the void and cover up the sadness. So when the man showed up with an ample supply of physical love I said yes, give me more! And when the man started to abuse me I stayed, because I was scared to death that if I left I wouldn’t be loved again.

Thankfully, with the help of family and a lot of Divine intervention I got out of that abusive relationship…not absent of scars and therapy. Years later I’m so thankful for the experience because that relationship was the beginning of my journey inward. Twenty years later, I now know what love is…physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. And I have learned that you can only love another person as deeply as you love yourself.

“Sweetheart, don’t let anyone put you in a cage and clip your wings. You were meant to fly. So fly.” The only way out of the cage is through absolute forgiveness and self-love. It took twenty years Dad, but I’m flying.

Love and light.

Are You the 20% Who Will Be Happy?

Life lessons have the ability to shape you into the best image of yourself–if you allow the transformation to happen. There’s always choice. Become the butterfly and experience happiness or fight the current in order to stay status quo. The choice is always yours….

20% of you reading this blog will choose to become the butterfly; clearly understanding that flying is so much faster than trying to walk everywhere you want to go. Why only 20%? In order to fly you need to lighten your load. You can’t take flight while trying to carry baggage that weighs more than your wings.

Baggage comes in the form of emotional suffering: loneliness, resentment, inability to forgive, EGO, unresolved anger and sadness just to name a few. The older the baggage the heavier the weight–even a small little micro experience of unresolved hurt can harden and turn into a ton of bricks.

20% of you will crush the bricks! You’ll take out your sledge-hammer, and with all your might, no matter how much work it takes, you’ll turn every brick into powder until all the heaviness simply blows away in the wind. And then poof! You take flight.

Today is simply reflection…

Are you one of the 20%?

 

 

The Lesson Facebook Taught Me

Sometimes you just need to go off the grid…

In November, right before the election I took myself off social media. As an empath, I needed a break from the emotional energy permeating through the Web. Little did I know what the Universe had planned for me.

I found myself immersed in this thing call ‘quiet’! It was amazing. I hadn’t realized I was living with this constant buzz in my head of information overload until all of sudden there was nothing. Not to mention I found myself with SO MUCH EXTRA TIME. Time was everywhere! I had no idea how much time I was wasting until this little app called Facebook was off my phone.

Let me be clear… I’m not saying Facebook or other forms of social media are bad. In fact, I love it! The ability to stay connected with friends and family via technology is fantastic–until of course it turns into an addiction that gets in the way of being present with real life. Bottom line, social media is a great ‘tool’ until it turns into your love affair. Anyone getting turned on by your phone more than that special someone in your life?

My big wake-up call, aside from needing to break free from the increasing surge of negative energy erupting during the November election, was when my 9-year old daughter started obsessively asking me how many ‘likes’ she got on her photos… Huston, we might have a problem!

So I jumped off the grid, decided to surround myself with authentic life-giving (versus energy sucking) people and began the quest of ‘doing me’. I replaced my Facebook time with working out, taking some classes, travel, focusing on my career, being present with ‘real life people’ and amping up my spiritual practice. The result–magic happened! 6-months later my career has never been better, I’m surrounded with genuine people who choose to put positive energy into this word and I feel great–ready to take on world!

Moral to the story is that Facebook had nothing to do with my woes, but I was using social media to cover up the spiritual healing that my soul desperately needed. I was putting all my energy and effort toward the external elements that may or may not ‘like’ me (along with so many others in this world); rather than looking in the mirror and choosing to take the time to heal the parts of me that were disconnected and desiring to be whole. Social media was simply a distraction so I didn’t have to face what I was really being called to do. And it was a teacher that provided a valuable lesson to help me grow.

Where am I now? Back on social media and loving it! That said, with balance and an understanding that it truly is just a tool to help us connect in this busy world. And for that I am grateful.

Gina Soleil, is a speaker and acclaimed author of Fuel Your Business: How to energize people, ignite action and drive profit. She blogs and speaks about how to create a business where people are energized, feel good and are happy. Email Gina Soleil and follow her on Twitter.

Top 10 Principles of Learning & Change

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A dear mentor of mine just recently shared these principles with her team of 3 1/2 years as she was transitioning to a new role. These principles were gifted to her years ago, and now I feel compelled to share them with you. We are all faced with change, and sometimes the solace we need simply comes from a new perspective.

Top 10 Principles of Learning, Change & Development:
(author unknown)

  • We are all stuck, to some degree. Often the things that keep us stuck are habits, attitudes, beliefs and relationships that were once very important to us.
  • We do not resist change; we resist loss. We are naturally wired to adapt to a changing world.
  • Our past successes often are impediments to moving forward to a new chapter in our work, career or life.
  • Everyone has the potential and ability to make choices now that will have a significant, positive impact on their future.
  • It is the willingness to truly learn that distinguishes a person as having high potential.
  • Most limitations are self-imposed.
  • Trying to improve or fix others is a futile effort that usually ends up annoying them and frustrating you.
  • One sincere expression of encouragement can change a life forever.
  • The most potent step forward usually involves a very difficult conversation.
  • One never becomes a great leader, doctor or carpenter. Those we recognize as great in their field are ordinary men and women who wake up every morning and choose to get on the road less traveled.

Gina Soleil, is a speaker and acclaimed author of Fuel Your Business: How to energize people, ignite action and drive profit. She blogs and speaks about how to create a business where people are energized, feel good and are happy. Email Gina Soleil and follow her on Twitter.