There are moments in life when clarity blesses us with its presence. When the skies open wide and we can see the purity of our existence. A euphoric feeling…physically and spiritually experiencing a connection to all things seen and unseen. These are the moments when the veil is lifted and we get introduced to and understand what it truly means to be alive.
To be alive is to be connected. Connection is far beyond relationship. Relationships are everywhere. You’re in relationship with your friends, your family, a significant other and even your pet. Relationships can exist with your co-workers, neighbors and even the barista whose name you never caught.
Relationships come in all forms and show up in all things. You have relationships with things in your life such as your favorite drink, your job, automobiles, money or your home. In fact, most people’s lives are overflowing with relationships; yet we still feel lonely, devoid of that certain “something”, and we desire to find relationships that help us feel complete and alive. What’s missing?
Connection is missing. The reality is you will never feel complete or alive without connection. Life is not about filling your moments with relationships, it’s about creating moments of connection with everyone and everything. Creating so many moments of connection that you yourself become connected to all that is–ultimately becoming one with the entirety of the Universe, God, Spirit, Divine or whatever name you call the creator of all things.
Connection is when relationship transcends the physical and becomes spiritual. It’s not intellectual, and only exists in and from the heart. Your smarts or savvy communication skills or even charisma won’t get you there. You can’t think your way into connection with another human being, animal or favorite “thing”. The minute your brain gets in the way connection is lost. Yet when your connected intelligence is a million times greater than your conscious mind can even imagine.
Connection is the opposite of ego. In fact, if your driven by ego, feel shame, guilt, or fear you become further away from the connection you desire and feel a greater sense of loneliness despite wanting to feel whole. Heart based connection is the only way to live your best life now.
So how do you become connected and alive? Really alive? How do walk through life filled with such divinity that you never again feel lonely or the absence of light? How do have connection with everything around you so that you experience the ultimate life?
1 Authenticity: Authenticity means that you fearlessly acknowledge your ugly parts that need healing and be willing to do the work to heal. Be honest with yourself. You don’t need to tell anyone else the inner truth of your being, but you do need to be honest with yourself and have an honest conversation with your Divine–asking for help. Here’s the reality, you can’t get to a state of connection without help. You also can’t experience a genuine connection with another human being until you remove the dark side of yourself (ego, greed, fear, shame, guilt, resentment, sadness, jealously, etc.) and allow your light to shine.
2 Heart: Intellect won’t get you there. You can’t “smart” your way into connection. You have to get out of your head and into your heart–literally feeling your words, breath and emotions coming from your heart when thinking about, or talking to whichever relationship is in front of you in the moment. This takes practice, patience and quiet moments. To do this you need to breathe deep, imagine that relationship literally sitting inside your heart filled with golden light and genuinely feeling gratitude for that relationship’s presence in your life.
3 Action & Elimination: To experience connection and to live your best life, you have to be willing to eliminate all things in your life that block you from shinning bright. Here’s where the hard works kicks in… you need to make a choice to walk away from the unhealthy relationships and the internal ugliness holding you back. Then you need to actively choose to surround yourself with life-giving relationships that fuel you with the light and meaningful connection you’re looking for.
4 Gratitude: The energy you put into this world is the exact thing you’ll get back–and tenfold. If you’re an asshole, someone else will be an asshole to you. If you’re kind, you’ll experience kindness. Connection happens when you put high vibrational actions such as love, kindness and compassion toward the relationships in your life. When you’re genuinely grateful for all the relationships and experiences in your life the Universe will continue to bring you more relationships and experiences that make you grateful. As your gratitude grows your heart grows! As your heart grows more significant healing happens and you becoming more and more connected to all that is and begin to feel alive!
5 Forgiveness: One of the darkest of all connection blocks… do you need to forgive? Someone else? Yourself? Most often times the first layer of forgiveness is toward others in your life, and the second, deeper and more significant layer is forgiving yourself. Forgiveness is energy. You don’t need to call that person on the phone, send an email or text. The person no longer has to be living. And you don’t need to have a conversation with yourself in the mirror–although you can if you feel guided. Forgiveness is about bringing that relationship into your heart, breathing deep, filling it with golden light and stating your intention to forgive so you can be free. Remember, forgiveness is about freeing yourself.
6 Letting go: This can be the hardest part of the equation. To feel connection you need to let go of all emotions, attachments, situations and relationships that no longer serve your highest greatest good. This does not mean ignore, sweep under the rug or bury deeper. On the contrary, it means being authentic and honest with yourself and the Divine about what you need to release and eliminate in all aspects of life. This takes courage. It requires you to let go of control and trust that the Universe will replace everything you let go with new relationships that allow you to become your greatest self and provide you the meaningful connections you deserve.
7 Commitment: To experience connection you need to put a stake in the ground and commit to doing the emotional and spiritual work it takes to become alive! You need to choose to stay in the game even when times get tough, scary and you’re faced with the dreaded unknown. Equally important, you need to commit to being kind to yourself through the process, and be willing to embrace the emotion, uncertainty and spiritual surprises along the way. Once you commit to a life of connection, light and love, I guarantee you’ll never look back because the experience in this new life will feel too damn good.
8 Self-love: You come first, period! Not your children, not your significant other, not your pet, your job or your friends. You come first. If you’re not taking care of yourself you will never achieve a meaningful connection with anyone or anything else, and every relationship in your life will suffer. Until you can authentically look into the mirror and say, “I love you!” with confidence, and foster a meaningful loving connection with yourself, you will never be able to experience a Divine connection in any other relationship. Self-love is the magic pill you’ve been waiting for, and to genuinely achieve it means you’re actively practicing step 1 – 7 and living your best life now!
Gina Soleil, is a life-sytle and business author, motivational speaker and executive coach. She teaches leaders globally how to create a business where people are energized, feel good and are happy. Visit ginasoleil.com and follow her on Twitter.