Time to Quit: Have you stayed in a toxic situation too long?

Quit_Have you stayed too long in a situation that no longer serves you?

If there’s one thing for sure, life IS change. Nothing stays the same. Even when you’re standing still you’re evolving and moving forward. As you evolve, certain people and situations that once served as positive influences in your life can turn unhealthy or even toxic. When this happens it’s time to say, “I quit.”

Our culture is a breeding ground for the proverbial, when the going get’s tough the tough gets going attitude. Most people stay in toxic situations way too long; tolerating behaviors and environments that literally have the power to suck the life out of New York City. Why? At the core, most people don’t want to be perceived as a failure, the fool, non-dependable or uncaring. So rather than quitting and moving toward healthier new beginnings, they stick it out in hopes that the clouds will clear and the toxic situation will get better. Rather than sunshine and clear skies, the situation only gets more toxic. 

Here’s the deal: quitting is okay. Not only is it okay, it’s absolutely necessary if you want a healthier happier life. That said, I get it. Leaving a toxic situation is hard and damn scary–especially when it’s tied to your dream. A dream of a specific career path, that certain relationship, or becoming that image you’ve been striving toward for years. For those of you who like the straight and narrow path, the thought of changing course before realizing your dream makes you feel like someone is twisting your heart and stomach into a pretzel–making you want to throw-up at the very thought of walking away. Ironically, the toxic situation or relationship that has you hanging on with an iron fist gives you the same sick feeling. The difference: the sick feeling turns to relief and freedom when you walk away. When you stay, you get to carry that sick feeling with you everywhere you go–forever.

One of the scariest parts of quitting an unhealthy situation and relationship is often the thought of losing your identify. We think things like, if I change course now, who will I be? Who will I become? Will I make the wrong turn and lose out on what may have been? I’ve invested so much of my time, if I change course now will I have wasted all that energy and effort?  Oh God! Anything but that! The reality: if you quit, you get to live a new dream that’s better than anything you’ve ever imagined.

The hardest part of quitting a dream and opening yourself up to a new beginning (no matter how beautiful that new beginning may be) is mourning your vision of what could have been. It’s no different from mourning the death of a good friend. Your vision, idea or dream has been with you a great deal of time. Acknowledge your feeling of loss. Honor yourself, your strength and your courage. Then let it go in gratitude. Once you’ve given yourself time to feel at peace, start walking forward–and know that you did the right thing.

Gina Soleil, is a speaker and acclaimed author of Fuel Your Business: How to energize people, ignite action and drive profit. She blogs and speaks about how to create a business where people are energized, feel good and are happy. Visit Gina Soleil and follow her on Twitter.

7-Ways to Live Like Robin Hood; Life Never Felt So Good

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It’s amazing to me how far our world has come, yet how similar our behaviors are to those societies from hundreds of years ago. In fact, in business our behaviors haven’t changed much at all. People with “lesser power” still bow down to “royalty” in fear of consequence or simply because “that’s just how it is”. In many ways, working in some business cultures is comparable to the medieval period–walking into the office at 8:00 a.m. feels like a Game of Thrones realty TV series.

Why is it that people are still okay relinquishing their personal power to those wearing crowns? Why are people okay with sacrificing who and what they are for the benefit of a few people on top who happen to wear purple? In the medieval period, if a peasant didn’t succumb to the powers of the King it was off with their head! Giving up your right to self due to the the physical reality of death was commonplace. That said, the last time I checked the use of a guillotine wasn’t allowed in Corporate America–although you wouldn’t know it from the way some people walk around in fear.

The biggest difference between business cultures today and medieval times is that we are safe–safe from physical harm. Are you walking around in fear of the imaginary guillotine in the CEOs office? Or, are you a modern-day Robin Hood, a maverick and heroic outlaw? It’s time we actually put the medieval period behind us and choose to walk free. A freedom that only comes when you choose to stop relinquishing your self to the powers that be.

Here are 7-Ways to live like Robin Hood and walk forward free:

  1. Start moving:  If someone is treating you poorly and not respecting you as a human being, don’t complain or play the woe is me game; rather, take responsibility and change what you don’t believe is right. This requires action and effort on your part. No one said change was easy, and responsibility always comes in the form of movement. Verbally stand your ground, and take the necessary steps to stop playing the victim and start taking responsibility for your life.
  2. Be a heroic outlaw:  Seize the opportunity to be a modern-day hero. Rather than sitting back and watching someone else being treated with disrespect stand up for them. Defend the stranger sitting next to you on the bus, the friend next door, your team, or your virtual colleague living thousands of miles away who’s not there to defend themselves. Don’t let someone else be thrown under the bus when it’s your voice that can save them.
  3. Know you are safe from physical harm:  Know that if you speak up, stand out and walk forward as a maverick you are safe. The CEO doesn’t have a guillotine in his or her office. You will not be hurt for standing up for yourself. What’s the worse that could happen? Could you get fired? Sure. Who cares? Get another job, go back to school,  or take a much needed break to get yourself into a business culture that’s healthy. That said, the reality is that most people who speak up (respectfully) are respected more, receive more opportunities and have a better chance at creating a work-life that makes them happy.
  4. Get clear on what you want: Sit down and make a list of what you want from your career and your life. It’s amazing to me how many people who have not taken the time to list out what they want. Don’t get hung up on details; you can make it broad. Robin Hood, may have said, “I want to help take care of those who are unable to take care of themselves.” When you get clear on what you want it’s impossible for action not to follow.
  5. Get some merry men: Here’s the deal: everything is always easier when you’re not trying to do it alone. Community is critical for our psyche. You are more courageous, more apt to overcome challenges, and will reach your goals with greater success when you have some merry men supporting you. Start building your team of modern-day mavericks. Remember, like attracts like. Surround yourself with those who want to live like Robin Hood, and watch your personal power grow.
  6. Find the joy in what you do: Stand up for yourself and take your power back, but don’t get too serious. If there’s one thing for sure, Robin Hood had a good time living out his life on his own terms and in his own way, but laughter, play and good friends were always among the adventures and hard work.
  7. Don’t be fooled by fake jewels: The only real jewels are inside you. The only place to find the authenticity you’re looking for is right in the mirror. Throughout your life you will constantly be approached by people holding fake diamonds. They’ll say, “Give me your power and I’ll give you more money, status, and material items. Give up who you are, and who you want to be, and I’ll turn you into exactly what society says you’re suppose to accomplish and become.” Don’t be fooled, no one has ever attained true happiness by wearing fake jewels.

Gina Soleil, is a speaker and acclaimed author of Fuel Your Business: How to energize people, ignite action and drive profit. She blogs and speaks about how to create a business where people are energized, feel good and are happy. Visit Gina Soleil and follow her on Twitter.

What Blocks Success and How to Change It

Worry2Success comes not from timidity but from committing yourself fully to realizing your dream.

Are you a master complainer or do you seize every moment in front of you as an opportunity to get closer to your dream? Most people are master complainers; wasting away precious time complaining about what they don’t have, what they can’t get, or what’s not available to them due to this or that. Are you falling victim to your own complaining?

Let me be the voice of reason. It’s time to stop complaining and start taking ownership for your reality. Remember, your reality is a direct reflection of you. What you put into this world is exactly what you get back. Like attracts like. If you don’t like what you’re getting from your job or relationships YOU need to choose to change–to be bold and commit yourself to realizing your dream.

Corporate America is a breeding ground for complaining and falling victim to the woe is me epidemic. The average person has approximately 70,000 thoughts per day. In business many of those thoughts sound like this: Politics are keeping me down. I’m too old. I’m too young. I have a mean boss. I don’t have enough experience. I have too much experience. I don’t like this. I don’t like that. The list goes on and on. People choose to complain because it’s easy. Complaining keeps us “safe” from having to face our greatest fear–the unknown. Many people choose to stay safe and miserable because it’s easier than finding out what’s on the other side of, “What if…?”

Here’s my challenge to you today: rather than falling victim to your own complaining, choose to be bold and do one thing that gets you closer to your dream. Step outside your comfort zone, your box, and face your fear of, “What if?” Unleash your adventurous side! Take a risk and be daring.

Gina Soleil, is a speaker and acclaimed author of Fuel Your Business: How to energize people, ignite action and drive profit. She blogs and speaks about how to create a business where people are energized, feel good and are happy. Visit Gina Soleil and follow her on Twitter.